Love is in the air….Keeping the spark alive

Love is in the air….Keeping the spark alive

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.  You know, that greeting card holiday where we tell everyone how much we love them.  Years ago, when I was dating my husband, it was a special occasion.  We would go out, do romantic things, enjoy each other.  Now?  Now we’re busy wiping butts and noses, making dinner, and doing laundry to even notice Valentine’s Day.

Now if you’re smart, you see the issue here. Parenting is hard, it’s even harder when you and your spouse aren’t getting some time to connect.  I can always tell when my marriage isn’t getting enough time.  My husband and I get short with each other, we get frustrated easily, we’re short with the kids. We need some time to reconnect and focus on each other, it helps us be a better team.

For many of us, being mom means having kids hanging on you all day long.  So the last thing you want is to have someone ELSE hanging on you after they’re in bed.  I like to take some time for me, and then I can focus on my husband.  If I don’t have some quiet, alone time, I’m worthless.  There are also ways to help enhance your mood.  Light some candles, put on some cute lingerie, or put on some music.

For some, after bed time is just not a feasible time to spend time with your partner.  Hiring a sitter and heading out for a few hours at a time that works for you can be a great way to spend some time with each other. The priority is taking a little time to reconnect.

I’m always a fan of wearing something that makes you feel good when you’re spending time with your partner.  Whether that means investing in a cute nursing bra, or wearing a shirt that makes you feel pretty, or maybe it’s a hot pair of shoes, feeling good is important, and feeling like you look good can help you relax and reconnect with your partner. And let’s face it.  Motherhood is hard, we need our partners to stand beside us, and we need to stay united to make it all work well.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ll be giving away one set of lingerie (maternity or nursing) to a lucky lady.  Let us know what you do to stay connected to your partner in the comments, and be sure to check out the PassionSpice line and add a little spice to your Valentine’s Day!  I’ll choose a winner on 2/01/12.

 

At Risk Moms and Formula

I try to keep my language positive around here.  I always shy away from ‘formula bashing’ as formula has its place.  Some babies need formula to survive.  I try to focus my energy on supporting moms and encouraging them to breastfeed for as long as they can or want.

I have heard about poor moms who are able to feed their babies formula thanks to WIC, and also how WIC doesn’t provide 100% of the formula a baby needs.  It’s meant to be a supplement to the food mom provides.  Unfortunately for so many moms on WIC, spending $20+ for a can of formula just isn’t an option.  So moms have gotten creative.  How can I stretch my formula?  I can water it down, or I can feed them less often!  Here’s the problem.  Babies need calories to grow and thrive.  And when moms are diluting the baby formula, or not feeding the babies as often as they need to eat, those babies aren’t getting enough calories.

We know that Nestle goes into countries and uses predatory tactics such as encouraging moms to formula feed their babies, and then they increase the price on formula so that moms can’t afford to feed their babies properly.  This mostly happens in 3rd world countries, but this recent MSNBC article is brining to light the issues with our WIC programs and the practice of stretching formula for babies.  Now we’re realizing this practice is not just killing babies in 3rd world countries, but it’s hurting babies here in America too.

Here’s a quote from that MSNBC article:

The study found that 30 percent of parents who brought their infants to an inner city children’s clinic didn’t have enough food to make it through each month. And a full 15 percent, or about 1 in 8, made ends meet by watering down their babies’ formula or by feeding less frequently, according to the study which was published in Clinical Pediatrics

For so many moms, the thought of going to the store and spending $20 on formula for their baby isn’t really a big deal.  Unfortunately for many moms it’s a HUGE burden.  One they sometimes can’t bear.  Can you imagine?  Trying to stretch your baby’s formula or listen to them cry, knowing they’re hungry and there is not a thing you can do about it.

So what’s the answer?  My first suggestion is to help these moms breastfeed.  Why are these moms choosing formula?  Is it because of societal pressure?  Because they have lived in poverty their whole lives and they know that WIC will just give them formula so why bother breastfeeding?  It’s a fact that lower income women have lower breastfeeding rates.

Supporting moms has always been important to me.  It’s why I’ve been a La Leche League Leader for so many years, and why I became an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.  It’s also why I have kept the #bfcafe chat on Twitter going.

How can we as a society help support more moms? How do we reach the moms who truly need support and how can we help these moms break down the social barriers that keep them from breastfeeding?  How do we help make sure no more babies are starving or failing to thrive because of a lack of food?

How can we join together to help moms breastfeed?

When are you going to stop breastfeeding?

When are you going to stop breastfeeding?

Isn’t that the million dollar question?  How many times do moms get asked how long they are going to breastfeed?  I got asked SO many times with my first.  When I chose to follow the WHO guidelines, and let her stop when she was ready, I certainly was on the receiving end of quite a few comments.

Are we setting moms up to fail?  I think some people ask out of a genuine curiosity.  And some people think it’s crazy that you’re STILL breastfeeding your 3 month old/6 month old/13 month old/2 yr old. Do all of these comments get to moms?  Do moms stop breastfeeding before they really WANT to because they feel pressure from others?

I was saddened when I saw this Today Show clip with Kourtney Kardashian.  She says, “I think I stopped early because my sisters were like ‘OK, it’s time, it’s time….I miss it, I loved it.”

Why do we let other people dictate our parenting decisions? At what point does society start to encourage moms to do what they feel is best for their baby instead of pressure them to make the baby grow up faster?  It all makes me so sad.

I’m thankful that Kourtney and Mason had the 14 months of breastfeeding that they did, it’s a great start in life.  I’m sad that all of us fall prey to the pressures of society and have motherhood regrets.

It’s time for us to surround ourselves with supportive people who will encourage us and build us up.

Where do you find your support and community to allow you to make the decisions you feel are best for your family?